below are comments from the people who handed in their electronic project by 12.47 of tuesday's session.
monakali – very good cover page coupled with the spiky fence bit. opening page of what is a place?, frames the theme and sets up the intriguing narrative to follow. the words should have been reintroduced into the project to give the page more meaning. for example, what do you mean by atmosphere? the words used to describe what is place, should have formed, or be incorporated into the main body of the project in an explicit way. images aren’t sufficient in describing what the images show, a text or caption layer would have enhanced page 2 + 3. the trip down beccleuch memory lane is a nice touch and makes the contrast between beccleuch + braamfontein a strong strand which lends strength to the project. project comes very much alive on pages 4 + 5, utilising text, drawings + images in well structured method. you must continue to work in his manner. the concluding + reference page seal what is a very superior body of work. well done. we will trash out + finesse layout issues during the semester, but this is an excellent beginning.
mahlangu – excellent cover page which totally articulates and frames the project. excellent use of graphics, scale, layout + locality. page headings are very informative and creative. more sections, on the street environment page, articulating the spaces between 1, 2 +3 would have been enhanced the project and these should have been explored at different scales. for the future, make sure all images are captioned and that project has a conclusion is properly referenced. overall a contentious project lacking critical engagement and assessment. remains a mild gouache and ends up celebrating something that is very iffy . . . and inaccessible to the many, but demonstrated adequately. in future be more critical.
gugushe
– intriguing response to the task with acceptable structure, as in cover page,
intro +project employing good graphics.
narrative is well articulated and absorbing. that being said, text boxes detract from the
poetry of the pages, font is difficult to read and font size isn’t
consistent. market street, vryburg north
page is confusing. maps should always
have streetnames for orientation and accessing purposes, images should be
captioned and document should have a conclusion plus must be referenced. project alludes to an interior space, yet the
informing tissue and fabric is lacking, instead it focuses on the exterior and
remains somewhat distant. overall a
strong submission, especially from a narrative perspective. in future push yourself to be able to
articulate graphically the narrative.
well done.
monakali – very good cover page coupled with the spiky fence bit. opening page of what is a place?, frames the theme and sets up the intriguing narrative to follow. the words should have been reintroduced into the project to give the page more meaning. for example, what do you mean by atmosphere? the words used to describe what is place, should have formed, or be incorporated into the main body of the project in an explicit way. images aren’t sufficient in describing what the images show, a text or caption layer would have enhanced page 2 + 3. the trip down beccleuch memory lane is a nice touch and makes the contrast between beccleuch + braamfontein a strong strand which lends strength to the project. project comes very much alive on pages 4 + 5, utilising text, drawings + images in well structured method. you must continue to work in his manner. the concluding + reference page seal what is a very superior body of work. well done. we will trash out + finesse layout issues during the semester, but this is an excellent beginning.
mahlangu – excellent cover page which totally articulates and frames the project. excellent use of graphics, scale, layout + locality. page headings are very informative and creative. more sections, on the street environment page, articulating the spaces between 1, 2 +3 would have been enhanced the project and these should have been explored at different scales. for the future, make sure all images are captioned and that project has a conclusion is properly referenced. overall a contentious project lacking critical engagement and assessment. remains a mild gouache and ends up celebrating something that is very iffy . . . and inaccessible to the many, but demonstrated adequately. in future be more critical.
kgosiemang
– very good cover page which is slightly marred by the coloured cubes and other
esoteric objects on the top left of the page.
what are those things and what purpose do they serve? project is well structured and the employs a
clear layout with good graphics. as much
as the project is colourful and adheres to the fashion thing, it is saturated
by quote after quote from others. where
is the author’s voice? what is it about
the fashion capital that the author finds moving? the lack of a personal expression renders the
content mildly chill and distant, which is a pity because it has enormous
potential. a project with potential but
tarnished by a lack of clear structure.
suliman
– alluring and very visual cover page, but what does it have to do with your
favourite place in joburg? is that even
on earth? the powerpoint presentation
forms a well constructed and intriguing narrative driven by the correct amount
of text and strong visuals. the
conclusion page is a gem, which brings one back to the point of origin and the
importance of the space to you. well
done for forming the complete arc. that
being said, your images are placed over the ethereal image. why?
also the use of images isn’t clear, as in what is yours and what is
sourced. in future use captions for
greater access to images, also reference them so it is clear what belongs to
the author and what doesn’t. also end
with a conclusion + a reference page.
otherwise a beautiful and well constructed narrative. maintain this energy, just be mindful that
the line between a serious submission +or a project which might be misconstrued
as a lousy joke is clear.
majola
– a structurally sound project using academically appropriate pages, as in
cover, place [location], interior, space etc. what is missing is a conclusion +
reference page. this must always accompany a completed and complete
submission. the space page is a gem. the
use of colour, plan, images + text is excellent. remember and reuse + refine this method, but
make sure that plans, especially of that size, are orientated with north
pointing to the top of the page. project
initiates the beginning of an interesting process, but the use of the author’s observation
through personal photographs would have enhanced the project. it is not convincing to describe an intimate
space in such detail and rely on sourced imagery to make the point. project misses a concluding and reference
page.
ngobeni
– fantastic cover page and the usage of the text title. well done.
project should be highly commended for employing the appropriate jargon
related to urbanism. it is well
structured and goes beyond the requirement of the brief, which is a positive
thing. project has a cover page, intro,
body, conclusion + reference pages.
excellent. layout is clear and
easy to grasp what is presented through text and good graphics. that being said, it would have enhanced the
project tremendously if the authors personal likes would have surfaced. your vigour and work ethic is acknowledged
and should be maintained. first-rate.
pule
– intriguing and very beautiful title, yet the image remains esoteric. what’s with the stairs bit and where are they
leading to? project demonstrates great
capacity with layout and the clever use of text and graphics to articulate a
strong structural narrative. one gets
why you like the place chosen, as in the project speaks for itself. well done.
that being said, the plethora of images is difficult to accept if as
belonging to the author. if they are the
authors then brilliant, if not, these should be properly referenced stating
source. a project of this calibre simply
cannot terminate with “the grove: the hub
for street culture” slide. there
should be a conclusion and a reference page.
project exhibits great passion which should be carried through for the
rest of the semester.
mamatela
– this is a difficult project to engage with because it primarily lacks
structure and criticalness, yet has moments of mild poignancy. cover page could have been ‘artistically’
done to hammer home the braamfontein
meets fashion theme. the images do
not do the theme justice nor the multiple use of fonts + font sizes throughout
the project. pick a font and stick with
it. locality map is acceptable but lacks
fashion theme, thus becomes humdrum and just a locality page bordering on
trite. it also contains incorrect
info. saturday life in the streets of braamfonteing begins to engage but
also lacks vigour. an author’s storyboard
would have sufficed in articulating the artistic personal meanderings in the
context. where are the images sourced
from and why are they so dull, with some devoid of life + others incorrectly
formatted, as in distorted? is this how
you see braamfontein? project is marred
by bad layout, yet the text narrative has moments of interest and some images –
2 or 3 – demonstrate the theme. project
needs a conclusion + reference pages.
you need to push yourself much harder in the coming months to [produce
things of value. talent is there and
recognised, but it needs to be unleashed.
bodhi
-- cover page is problematic by the spell error on assignment. for a project which deals with physical space
+ place, it’s curious why the cover page is text. excellent narrative demonstrating a curious
and probing mind. well done for exposing
us to something we were not aware existed and for exposing us to its beauty in
such a poetic way. that being said, in
future avoid boxing things within boxes, the black border lines are too
much. so project is greatly marred by
layout. in future, use your beautiful
images to hammer the point home. the
text is a pleasure to read, but try to keep it perspicuous and less
‘heavy’. as much as the “potential” page
has potential, the map is not good enough.
it’s too landuse type. explore
other ways of drawing maps. look at raoul bunschoten, maxwan.com or michael sorkin’s maps. explore how others draw maps and educate
yourself. a spirited and poetically
engaging submission that needs a conclusion + reference page.
makan – a gem of a project with enough
poetry, beauty + otherness. cover jpg image is fantastic, but why isn’t it
incorporated into the pdf to make it one single project? work on this.
project is well structured and tells a compelling narrative. excellent. keep up the growth, pursuit and
make a conscious decision to draw more – one drawing, is simply not good
enough. things to work towards in future
are crisper layout infused with more of your drawings. remember to add captions to images for
enhanced access, always end a project with conclusion + proper reference page.
